Tag Archives: relationships

Adolescent Suicide is a Big Problem

“I stay off of social media, it just gives me too much anxiety seeing everyone’s perfect lives.”

I’ve heard this often from adults but never from a teenager. “Maybe you don’t talk to enough teenagers,” you might say.

I would respond with this: I did hair for almost a decade and many of my clients were in Junior High and High School and shared a lot of private things with me, including their struggles, so I sort of have a little experience interacting with that age group.

Do you remember being an adolescent? Emotional maturity, self-image and judgement are incredibly difficult to master or control during this time. Can you imagine how hard it would be for someone ages 10-25 to deliberately choose to swear off the very thing that could be causing their depression? Something that nearly ALL of their peers are engaging in? I’m talking about Social Media, specifically.

I believe that it could prove nearly impossible and that’s why I think it’s time we parents take matters into our own hands.

Some believe that suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death in Americans between 10 and 34. What’s one obvious difference between this generation and those before it? Digital technology.

We can tell an adolescent until we are blue in the face that people are simply showing the highlights but that’s not going to convince them. Humans learn through experience best and until our children get out there and start living their lives alone, it’s probably not going to click for them.

So for now the best we can do is all we can do: Educate ourselves on adolescent suicide and on digital technology. The internet is a powerful tool friends, let’s arm ourselves with the knowledge we each individually need and take back our children.

The application of this may look different for each family as our family dynamics and cultures are all different, a knowledgeable parent usually knows what’s best for their individual child.

Jordyn Armour is refreshing with her authenticity and honesty when it comes to parenting and writes about anything parenting related, using sarcasm and humor to tie everything together. She is a stay at home mom to four girls and runs survivingmommy.org Instagram @surviving_mommy and Twitter @survivingmommy_

When Our Children Throw Fits

I rewarded my four year old for throwing a fit today, at least that’s what it would seem like. We were driving in the car ten minutes after she had woken up and her little sister was given the stuffed Unicorn I found in the backseat.

This really upset Penelope who had asked for this specific unicorn yesterday. However, I had no time to procure another stuffed animal at the moment and she would just have to deal. She began to scream after my explanation as to why she couldn’t have it.
“If you continue to scream you WILL go back to bed when we get back home,” I finally exclaimed, realizing that she may simply be too tired to stay up.

Penelope had been throwing a fit for five minutes at this point and in my experience the longer the fit goes on the more unreasonable the child becomes. To my utter surprise and complete joy her fit subsided in less than 30 second and all that was left was a scowl on her face.

“I would be scowling, too,” I thought.

You see, Penelope had a rough bedtime routine last night because it was the second night of us helping her to break the habit of magically requiring sustenance at the very mention of bedtime. Then, she woke up screaming at 5:30am because she had a nightmare about a giant spider coming after her to eat her and on top of that I woke her up an hour earlier than she’s used to. Lastly, this unicorn should have been given to her; after all, she requested it the day before and I was so busy that I forgot to get it out of the car for her.

To sum up: Penelope had been put to bed with hurt feelings over her new bedtime routine, been awakened by a terrifying nightmare, was forced out of bed early and she was then unjustly treated with the unicorn situation. Anyone would act unreasonable.

Five minutes later when we arrived home I looked at her angry little face and I said, “Penelope, you made such a good choice to obey Mommy and stop screaming even though you’re so tired and rightfully upset. Thank you! I’m going to give you a surprise now for your good choice!” You should have seen her face light up and she chose veggie straws for her surprise.

Often, I think we hold children to impossible standards. Just like us, children have bad moods and it’s our job to teach them how to express their emotions in a healthy and acceptable manner.

Jordyn Armouris refreshing with her authenticity and honesty when it comes to parenting and writes about anything parenting related, using sarcasm and humor to tie everything together. She is a stay at home mom to four girls and runs survivingmommy.org , Instagram @surviving_mommy and Twitter @survivingmommy_

Do Less With More Focus

As a parent I find myself frustrated a lot of the time and because I’m living with frustration so often I begin to find myself becoming resentful.

Resentful of the clothing that can be found anywhere but hanging in the closet or in the dressers or in the hamper where they belong. Resentful because I’m making Thanksgiving Dinner complete with homemade pies from scratch and now there are more guests coming.

My husband became resentful recently because I suggested purchasing the cheap $10 remote when he wanted to purchase the “cool” $20 remote. I told him that if it was going to make him feel resentful towards me then go get the $20 remote because it didn’t make a difference to me either way.

To be resentful means to be feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation at having been treated unfairly. Many times when we are feeling resentment we actually have not been treated unfairly and we are just perceiving things differently from someone else.

As adults, most often we have the power to control whether or not we begin to feel resentful.

For example, I knew that if I had to make pies from scratch on top of preparing Thanksgiving Dinner for at least ten people, clean the entire house and do it all while sick and caring for three sick children I was going to be resentful.

So I decided not to make the pies from scratch after all. I went down to the grocery store and purchased four beautiful Sara Lee pies and some brand new pie tins to bake them in so they would appear homemade.

I took the energy that I would have used to make those pies and I put that energy into something I enjoyed instead: making Gingerbread Men from scratch and decorating them with my two older children and husband.

I chose to change the way I did something that I knew would lead me to become resentful. I could have chosen not to make pies altogether and purchased tubes of cookie dough or a bakery made cake. I could have delegated the pie making out to my ten and fifteen year olds.

Parenting requires so much energy and it’s important that we choose where that energy goes and at the same time maintain a healthy thought life. Choose to either not do it at all, change the way you do it or delegate it out when something comes up that you already know in advance will cause you to become resentful.

I saw a really great quote today that was attributed to art@blessthemessy and it said: “Do less with more focus.” I think this quote has the power to really transform some of our lives.

Most likely our children aren’t going to remember the homemade uncrustables or the homemade Halloween costume that took sixteen hours and gave me one hundred hot glue gun burns. They’re going to remember that mom put cute notes in their lunch and going door to door for candy with their parents.

Sara Buckley @nottheworstmom on Instagram was talking recently on an IGTV video of hers about how things like this are for us, the parents, not necessarily for the children.

If we stop to think about it we kind of have to admit that we are the ones who want the other moms borderline jealous of our child’s one-of-a-kind costume.

The ones who insist on our child having 100% organic, prepared from scratch everything rather than taking a break for ourselves and giving them frozen waffles or cold cereal.

For the most part, we get to choose how content or how discontent we are. We can choose to feel better and to start making decisions based on our needs and stop making decisions based on how we want to appear to other people. Who cares what those people think? Our own personal happiness is what matters.

That is the only question that matters.

So buy that $20 remote and those delicious premade pies. While you’re at it, stock up on frozen waffles because kids love them and you’ll never have to cook breakfast on a school morning ever again.

Don’t forget: If you know something is going to cause you to feel resentment you get to decide whether you will allow it to have power over you or not.

Choose to not do it at all, change the way you do it or delegate it out.

Change the way you’re going to do it so you’ll actually enjoy it.

Once you start doing this you’ll have so much more time and energy to focus on the things that actually contribute to your happiness.

Happy parents are better parents 💋

Jordyn Armouris refreshing with her authenticity and honesty when it comes to parenting and writes about anything parenting related, using sarcasm and humor to tie everything together. She is a stay at home mom to four girls and runs survivingmommy.org , Instagram @surviving_mommy and Twitter @survivingmommy_