Tag Archives: parenting comedy

How styling a Mom Bun|Man Bun could be beneficial for you

As a parent there are many scenarios in which wearing either a ‘Mom Bun’ or a ‘Man Bun’ can be beneficial for you.

Let me explain via a couple hypothetical examples why this could be true.

Scenario No. One

You’ve been invited by a parent you met at the park to their home for a group play date. They were very clear about the group play date being during a specific time block because of nap schedules and also insisted that you be on time so your children won’t miss any of the fun.

You planned everything the night before and laid out everyone’s clean outfits, filled a bag with diapers/pull-ups, extra underwear and clothing, special stuffed animals/blankets, snacks, keys, wallet and wet wipes.

You’ve filled the freezer with frozen waffles and even arranged the plates and forks for breakfast already. There are reminders set on your phone to prompt you when it’s time to wake up, to be done with breakfast, to get dressed, put shoes and coats on and leave.

The following morning as you are getting ready during the allotted time slot you gave yourself one of the children falls off of the couch and hurts themselves. You rush out to attend to them and ten minutes later they are well enough for you to leave them (on the same couch) watching the original Aladdin on Disney+.

Instagram @macgyveringmom22

Just as you are back in your bathroom to finish your face routine the reminder to put shoes and coats on beeps at you from your Apple Watch. You haven’t even started on your hair yet and as you begin mentally calculating how you can fit in an extra two minutes to at least do something with your hair you hear your child start howling from the living room again.

At this point you basically have two options.

1. You can comfort your child (who didn’t learn their lesson and fell off of the couch again) while sending a DM to the new parent to tell them you’ll be late. This will most likely be followed by an uncomfortable play date (because you were late) with a group of people who will most likely never invite you again.

2. Your second option is to bribe your child with an especially yummy snack (marshmallows are fine), put shoes and coats on and head out the door on time with your hair as is (it’s in either a Man Bun or a Mom Bun). If you’re a Dad, all the parents will secretly be impressed by your Man Bun and either wish they had the guts to ask you for a tutorial or wish their significant other knew how to wear a Man Bun like you do. If you’re a Mom the other parents will note your Mom Bun and your punctuality and in response may view you as dependable and authentic and be fighting over who gets you next.

[You may also receive Bonus Points with the other parents in Mom or Man Buns who feel a natural camaraderie with you because of the shared shame.]

Scenario No. Two

You’ve had a rough day.

The baby is teething and for some reason your four YO has decided to start asking you for a “second Mommy.” You already had to load them up to take your 10 YO their forgotten P.E. shoes during nap time and on top of everything the toddler keeps calling every person they perceive to be a man “Daddy.”

Now you’re in the car on the way to pick up your child from school and chauffeur them to practice and the toddler will not stop screaming for ‘Baby Shark’. Forced to submit, you turn on the requested song and simultaneously begin to tune out the music as you try to reach deep within the recesses of your mind for the sanity you know was once there. The lights in your rear view mirror and the sound of the police siren jolt you back to your current existence and you realize with horror that you’re driving ten miles over the speed limit near a school zone.

Instagram @momthesedays

At this point there are two ways the Officer can view you.

1. If the Officer sees a person who looks well rested and has their hair done they will assume this person has time to obey the law. This person may be viewed with disgust by the Officer who may even choose to write an additional ticket for the crack in the windshield.

2. If what the Officer sees is nothing but the shell of who that person once was before parenthood they may have mercy and use understanding when deciding whether to write a ticket or not. After all, you aren’t quite in the school zone yet and school isn’t quite out yet. Your chances of the Officer perceiving you as this second described person is far greater if you’re wearing your hair in the same Man or Mom Bun that you were wearing last night.

In conclusion, I view the Mom Bun and the Man Bun as extremely viable options for parents to use when styling their hair and I strongly urge all of you to apply this style strategy in your day to day lives.

Jordyn Armouris refreshing with her authenticity and honesty when it comes to parenting and writes about anything parenting related, using sarcasm and humor to tie everything together. She is a stay at home mom to four girls and runs survivingmommy.org , Instagram @surviving_mommy and Twitter @survivingmommy_

Girl’s Night Out in Your 30’s

I was sitting at home with my feet up ready to read a good book and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Suddenly, my friend DM’d me and it turned out it was her birthday so I told her “I’ll be right there.”

Armed with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to gift her and a White Claw for me to drink I arrived twenty minutes later.

We headed down to a Piano Bar and moments after walking in we realized it was filled with the class of ‘69 as they celebrated one hundred years since graduation.

After a good laugh about how we were too young to fit in we decided to have one drink and then slip away to a more suitable spot to celebrate her birthday in style. We sipped our drinks, sang along and talked about how great fries are for the next twenty minutes.

We left our unfinished drinks and strategically exited as the pianist sang the line “Get the f$&# out” in the song he was playing which gave all the old people a good laugh.

At the next spot we hit up we snagged a table in the middle of the crowd where we couldn’t hear each other speak. After a round of drinks we moved to a quieter spot next to some thirty-year-old guys visiting from Seattle.

For the next hour we all talked about how hungry we were and how nice it would be to get some fries. Someone ordered nachos and we spent another hour waiting for them, ordering some pizza in the interim.

By the time we had devoured the pizza and nachos we were ready to move on, the thirty-year-olds having already gone home for the night. Once again, we abandoned our unfinished drinks and armed with a box of a few slices of pepperoni pizza went on our way.

We ended up at a bar where there was a wait to get in and once inside saw that it was filled to capacity. We sat at a table with our drinks and our group decided to go dance while I stayed behind to watch the purses.

Perfectly content to sip White Claw and scroll Instagram while people danced and got faded around me I realized that I wasn’t even bummed about not dancing.

A few minutes later they were done and we left our unfinished drinks and headed outside because we heard there was a taco truck. As we sat on the curb devouring tacos we discussed how tired we were and decided to call it a night.

During the Uber ride home I thought about how the highlight of my night was singing along while the pianist played “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams in that Piano Bar.

Throughout girl’s night out we discussed the enticing prospect of food or sleep and left unfinished drinks everywhere we hung out.

Seven years ago I wouldn’t have even thought about food while drinking and leaving an unfinished drink behind was blasphemy.

So while I laughed about how I wasn’t old going into girls’ night out, I left with the suspicion that maybe I am. Thirty minutes later, face washed and sweatpants on, I stood over my baby’s crib in my quiet house and knew without a doubt that I am.

I also realized in that moment that I’m perfectly okay with it. I love my sweatpants and my early bedtime and my clean face. I love food and light to moderate drinking and classic music (‘90’s Smash Hits on Spotify qualifies).

I love that I’m not in that season anymore and the thing I love the most is that I’m okay with it.

So if you’re in your late-twenty’s plus and parenting and feeling depressed about losing that young, hip you: I highly recommend a girl’s or guy’s night out.

Who knows? You may discover that there’s nothing to be depressed about after all.

Jordyn Armour is refreshing with her authenticity and honesty when it comes to parenting and writes about anything parenting related, using sarcasm and humor to tie everything together. She is a stay at home mom to four girls and runs survivingmommy.org , Instagram @surviving_mommy and Twitter @survivingmommy_