I shared something humorous on Instagram and of course there was that one person who couldn’t help but share their unwanted opinion.
“Sounds like your kids need more time with dad and more discipline.”
Alright, maybe they had innocent intentions, so I responded explaining that my husband was exhausted to which they replied, “I do 19 hour shifts every week. “Tired” is for people who don’t have kids.”
There it was: The judgement. Most of us are familiar with Mommy Shaming but few of us have yet to realize that Daddy Shaming is very real.
This person, who had no idea how many days a week my husband works, how long his commute is, how often he travels or what sort of work he does, was dogging on him for not doing enough.
My husband had been commuting 2-4 hours every day for fourteen days with one day off and his day off was my birthday so he didn’t get to relax or sleep.
The day I made the meme he had just gotten off of a 16 hour night shift and he normally works days. He’s also been suffering from severe asthma which he developed nearly a year ago- the man was just tired.
It doesn’t help that our three and one year olds are at very active levels. They don’t need more discipline, they are curious and learning and feel safe to explore in their own home.
As a stay at home mom my main job to to keep these two alive and entertained and that’s what they’re used to. They’re not going to just stop exploring and playing because mommy left and daddy is tired and they shouldn’t be disciplined for that.
Everyone’s circumstances are different. Each specific person and home have their own rhythm and sing their own song. Shaming a person for dancing to a different tune is very low. That person may be doing the best they can and it’s pretty sad that people feel the need to point out what they think they’re doing wrong.
If we expect our children to stand up for their peers then we should be willing to hold ourselves to the same standard. Next time you see someone shaming another parent, even if they are a dad, I challenge you to step up and say something.